The show is so bad it wraps around to being good again. What really boggles my mind is that Forrest Tucker is in it as a ghostbusting dad in a day glo zoot suit. I know him from F Troop and as the dashing male lead in MST3K-riffed movie The Crawling Eye. But he was in both live action and animated Ghostbusters shows, and I only learned this after wading through half an hour of mind-numbingly stupid dialog like:

“NO ONE WOULD BE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO TRY TO STOP GHOSTS!!!”
- Prime Evil, the evil cyborg from the future who apparently wants to skip Judgment Day, or accidentally spent his T-1000 research and development funds on a badass time traveling organ in which to pick up robot chicks and impress robot ghosts. No self-respecting robot ghost would want to work for him if he couldn’t convince them he was also in a band.

“Ohhhhh! This life isn’t fit for a ghost! I’ll be baaaack!!!”
- robot ghost hit with the dematerializer, as he hangs around in a glowing puddle to whine before going to Ghost Nirvana or whatever to be rein-materialized.

“Ye-es, of course I’m a bat! Why else would I be trapped in a cave?” — Prime Evil

“That’s no fair! Prime Evil promised ME the room with the night-light!”
— robot ghost with childhood phobias that apparently do not stop him from haunting the robot holocaust.

… And pretty much every other line from main villain Prime Evil.

There is also a transformation sequence to rival Sailor Moon, but done to two guys who are pretty much prototypes for The Venture Bros.:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrBGOvGDHCE

Closer look:

If someone would make a Venture Bros. pinup calendar maybe I could remove this image from my memory.

The only action this bed ever sees.

In my head, I’ve renamed this show The Ghostcatchers Animabominatrix 2525. You can stream it on Netflix if you’re curious.

Such a quest led me to try the egg-chili-chutney sandwich as mentioned in the episode of Red Dwarf titled “Thanks for the Memory.” And the sandwich is as advertised! A fried egg, chili sauce, and mango chutney on toasted bread. Many flavors that should be completely wrong come together to create wonderfulness that you have to eat before it soaks through the bread. A sandwich that makes men feel pregnant, as Rimmer said on the show.

"I could never invent a sandwich like this, Lister. All the ingredients are wrong. Fried eggs? Wrong. Chutney? Wrong. Chili sauce? All wrong. But put them together, and somehow it works! It becomes right! It's YOU! Lister, this sandwich is YOU."

The only wild card is the kind of chili sauce used- chili powder with salsa wasn’t strong enough, Tiger sauce was good and spicy but had some undesirable vinegar and excess sweetness, and I don’t have British chili sauce so next time I’m trying tobasco.

It’s supposed to be a hangover cure, but egg-chili-chutney was also a source of pride for Lister who supposedly invented it himself. I know how he feels, because I have a similarly odd and disgusting sandwich of my own design.

On another weird food experience quest, I imported a jar of marmite. I find it most enjoyable in a toasted sandwich with peanut butter. The saltiness of the marmite tastes savoury but perfectly balances with the sweetness of the peanut butter. I’m pretty sure I’m original in bringing them together, since these spreads are from different continents. Someday I’d like to add bacon and deep fry it to make a 100 BPM, which coincidentally is also your resting heart rate after you eat one.

A less successful food adventure was the time I read somewhere about “fairy bread” and wanted to try that. Fairy bread is just butter and sugar on bread. Bad for you, but who cares about the repercussions of eating butter at age 15? I wish I could remember where I read about this because it was probably the source of many of the dumbest ideas I had during my teen years. Such an (and a worse) idea was trying it for the first time on a picnic date with my high school crush.

I’ve always had a touchy stomach. I can never eat very much in one sitting, meals take me at least an hour or else I feel sick after, and anything greasy or fatty doesn’t always stay down. As I was telling my date how it really is not good to have feet shaped like those of a Barbie doll-

*Ulp!*

The butter would not be assimilated. Out flew the fairybread onto the lawn of the park, and my crush’s dog started to eat my ex-lunch. This ended the date early, but oh well; I found out a month after we broke up that the guy was gay and in denial about it anyway. Today, he’s married to another charming man and they are lawyers/cat parents. I am truly happy for them both.

As to things that actually *are* wrong together, today I am wondering what is in a “sinner’s sandwich.”

My friend Cara Ellison, games journalist and femme fatale of film criticism, blogged recently about a game called Deadly Premonition. It’s a terribly buggy old PS2 game that I think I really need to check out after watching this cut scene:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp5krDoflLI

Observations:

0:03 The background music seems to be borrowing heavily from the Super Mario Bros. Yoshi theme from Super Mario World back in the SNES days. Wouldn’t it be awesome if a demonic tongue randomly whipped out of Mr. Stewart’s gas mask and grabbed the sinner’s sandwich? Like, after all that convincing to get the FBI agent to try it, he just couldn’t resist any more. You know that really, when someone tries to convince you something is good, it’s because they really want it for themselves. Selves! Always so covetous and greedy.

0:13 What’s with the rhyming anyway? In the original Japanese was it an oyaji gag? Was he trying to pick up the sandwich AND the waitress?

0:17 [as Mrs. Cormack] “Not on your life, Mack the Knife.”

0:28 Turkey, strawberry jam, and cereal. That might actually be a good sandwich. If not, substitute canned cranberry jelly for the strawberry [too sweet, ick] and add some green lettuce. I have GOT to try this after next Thanksgiving. What kind of cereal though? Corn Flakes? Rice Crispies? Hmm…

0:36 A sinfully DELICIOUS example.

1:12 Rhyme fail. That’s only a slant rhyme at best.

1:16 Are the bar stools also rocking chairs?

1:38 Good FBI agents use the Hunch decision engine.

1:54 As Helium in Strindberg and Helium would say, “Oooooooziiiiiing!”

2:00 Jump back! Kiss myself!

2:10 [as Mr. Cormack]: “Really? Usually people want what Sally is having. This would be our first Harry Plate Special.”

Also, why does he need to order the sandwich again? If Stewart just gave him half his sandwich, isn’t that lunch? If he needs more food than that wouldn’t a french fried potato garnish be sufficient? Maybe a pickle or a cup of the California Calico Cornucopia Vegetable Jubilee? Oh, the world would be a much better place if everyone ate the way I do.

2:16 “A planet… where men enjoy sandwiches?”

2:26 “Hmmm… onions… fried… with cheese maybe? That could be a good sandwich. Yeah. It was in the back of my head all this time. Cheese and onions.”

2:27 Yeah, I was a sissy.

2:37: Hey, she already changed her Facebook status. Everyone knows.

3:18 [weird face] Oh girl. Your clothes were not the origin of those rumors.

3:26 Oh, you mean power-pop. Like Green Day.

3:45 Girls don’t eat steaks!

The game seems to want to be Silent Hill but fails at it with a lot of QTE events. Right up my alley!

And I’ve still not yet had a proper tomato or cucumber tea sandwich a la The Importance of Being Ernest. So many sandwiches left to try!

Do you have an odd sandwich creation that shouldn’t work but does somehow? Leave a comment and tell me about it

Every time we raise wild birds, there comes a point when the bird knows it is wild and it does not belong in a cage, not even a really big cage like our upstairs bathroom which we gave over to the chimney swifts for flight practice. For a few days our mini-colony were flying round the bathroom, flopping to the floor, scaling cat furniture with their claws, and returning to their roost on one of two bath towels. But now they’re ready to be out in the world.

Reepicheep was the strongest of the swifts, and he reached the point of wildness several days ago. He would fly around the bathroom and land on the window screen, and a few days later he and ZigZag started scaling the screen going side to side like they were searching for a way through it. Pipsqueak was not as frantic, but we knew they were ready to go and even he would be wanting out soon.

We weren’t entirely sure about the best way to release them, as we’ve never raised swifts before. What if we just shoved them up the damper but they weren’t OK and we couldn’t help them? So we decided to take the screen out of the bathroom window and let them leave from there when they were ready. We would leave the screen out for a day or so in case they needed to and decided to come back.

My mother also bought a toy plastic bird whistle to try to train them to respond to a signal for food. This has only worked once, when we raised a nest of grackles several years ago. They were trained to come to the whistle, but it was sort of pathetic after they went wild– Mom called them and got three little black birds to come and circle around her head, but they were too afraid to land and be fed after they were released to the wild. Still, it worked as proof that they were still out there and had more of a chance than they did before we took them in. Maybe it would work with our chimney swifts as well.

The day the screen was removed was probably the wrong time to give them their first shower, but we had read an article on the internet by someone else who raised swifts which said they enjoy a shower from a spray bottle filled with distilled water. I do not know what made this fellow think birds enjoy a cold shower… Maybe he tried this with much younger birds the way you can supposedly train a kitten to walk on a leash? But our birds did not enjoy the shower. Being misted from a distance made Reepicheep and ZigZag freak out and immediately fly out the open window. But at least they flew upward, so we were hopeful they would find the colony of wild swifts and return to our chimney.

Pipsqueak remained alone in the bathroom for a few hours longer than his brothers. We thought he might need a day, and *I* thought maybe we should put the screen back on the window and keep fattening him up a day or so more. He was always the weakest bird, and his brothers would always sit on his head during feedings to try to get his food. That strategy had worked pretty well with their bird parents, but we human foster parents knew better. Still, he never seemed to eat as much as the others, stopping at two nuggets of soaked cat food when his brothers wanted three.

Pipsqueak was my favorite because he continued to land on my head, chest, or shoulder long after the other two stopped. And so he did when I visited him at midnight for the last time. He seemed a bit reluctant, possibly starting to turn wild like his brothers, but he still flew from his towel to grab my hair. I gave him a ride over to the bathroom mirror and we looked at each other and our reflections. Did he understand that the bird in the mirror was himself? Probably not, but I’d like to think that animals are more aware than we know. He tilted his head at different angles and took in his surroundings.

Then, he saw a mosquito. The bathroom was swarming with them since that is what happens when you take the screen out of the window during summer weather. And Pipsqueak was OFF! Off my head, up in the air, around in a circle, over to the window screen– which was no longer where he expected it to be! He scrabbled at the edge of the window for a moment before dropping out of view.

Uh Oh.

With a capital Uh and a frightfully worried Oh.

What had we done? Was Pipsqueak OK? What if he fell into the flower bed and a cat or raccoon found him? I went downstairs in the middle of the night, but there was no way I could find him in the dark. I went to bed sad and wondering how crazy and stupid my family and I were to take in birds in the first place. Robins and sparrows were easy but how much didn’t even my mother know about swifts?

…

“Tracey, come here and listen to the fireplace!”
Having gotten my attention the next day, Mom opened the fireplace doors and blew her bird whistle.

CHI CHI CHI CHI CHEEP!!!

And it sounded like exactly three birds were answering the whistle with begging noises, amongst the other nests of swifts in our chimney. After the begging died down, I heard them talking to each other up there and it seemed like they came down to investigate the damper again, but this time they didn’t come through it into the fireplace.

They’re back with their own kind, and better off than they were before we took them in. Swift rehabilitation mission accomplished!

Possibly helpful for fiction writing, creating imaginary friend profiles and making them talk to each other on social networks would be a fun creative game. I was inspired by a talk given by one of my favorite game developers… Was it Tim Schafer who gave a GDC talk years ago and mentioned developing characters for Psychonauts via social networking profiles? That’s what my memory says today. I would look it up to confirm, but audio is not searchable and I’m not even sure I have the mp3 file anymore.

Anyway, I was going to try this, but I couldn’t find the right social network. I thought the GDC talk I heard mentioned Friendster, but Friendster doesn’t seem to have much going on except for flash games. MySpace is for bands, Facebook is for being yourself, Orkut is overrun with extroverted Brazilians, and all of these require an email for each account.

But today I stumbled across this article again.

http://blog.justinkorn.com/2008/07/friendfeed-as-an-rss-readerorganizer/

FriendFeed was the one I forgot I was looking for and which solves two of my problems.

FriendFeed is a network that nobody is using, so I don’t need to worry about making any real friends on it. And it specifically allows you to make tons of “imaginary friends” and list them in various friend lists inside one FriendFeed account.

The article above tells you how to use the imaginary friends feature to create streams of blog rss feeds, which also answers my prayer for Blogspot and WordPress blogs to come together and be more of a community like LiveJournal or Twitter.

So, yay for using social networking technology to be antisocial! Now I’m going to make Imaginary Katie Couric interview Imaginary Amy Winehouse from beyond the grave! Or not, because it’s really still too soon.

☆~Networks~☆

Facebook

Ohh, Facebook. We used to be such good friends, you and I, back in those halcyon days before you hurt me so very many times with your stupid interface updates and displays of a lack of consideration for my individual human rights. You don’t even realize you’re doing it, do you, you high-functioning sociopath of a little code monkey?

By the way, I used to love your Groups feature until you messed it up by allowing people to be added to a group without their permission. Fan pages could almost be used the same way with their Like Button admission access and potentially transferable admin rights, but if I depend on you for them you’ll probably screw that up too eventually. We just can’t have nice toys without poking them until their heads fall off, can we?

I, being the better person, forgive you. But you will no longer be my number one social hub. Your roles are now to archive my past relationships, to let luddites and old people reach me, to let me shallowly connect with companies or famous people I am a patron of, and to provide me with silly Flash game diversions.

Ye gods, my friends are dragging me into a Gardens of Time addiction.

Twitter

Twitter, is it OK if I call you my BFF? We’ve been together for about three years now and I love taking you everywhere with me. Your brevity allows me to take daily baby steps toward greater personal goals, and I’ll never be lonely so long as I have you.

You make me a little crazy sometimes with your manic flood of information, but I’m learning to use lists to filter the sources of information separate from the sources of companionship, entertainment, and networking. You introduce me to the best people and help me shape my own identity according to who I form new relationships with.

You show me the perfect Me I could be! I am trying not to seek validation from celebrities too much, but those little peeks inside their brains and occasional positive interactions with the ones who follow me back are doing wonders for my self esteem and personal development. If I can just overcome the time-sinking addiction to your random emotional reward output, I will use the information I get from you to accomplish great things.

Live Journal

Live Journal, can we reconnect? I wandered off in 2008 when you were taken over by Russian spam bots, but I really need a private diary and you seem a little safer this year. You always had your share of drama, but I also miss the sense of community I found in your user groups. To this day, you remain my best source of information on studying the Japanese language by way of all the Japan-related friends and user groups I added when I used you every day during college.

You provide an outlet for my negative emotions and unprofessional thoughts, break down thoughts I am not yet ready to publish here, and send me random stuff that I like. Twitter’s my silver, you are my gold, old chum.

LinkedIn

Geez, LinkedIn, why you gotta be such a cold fish? It’s hard to network when I am so afraid that anything I post on you will turn out to be a networking faux pas that renders me unhireable. I don’t even want to link to my profile on you, my career overview and skill set is so schizophrenic-looking. I’d rather just hide amongst the over 200 other Teresa Lees until I’m more proud of myself.

You have a good job search engine and encourage me to make use of my networking contacts. I should be on you more and would be except that you’re just so scary to me the college grad with little job experience.

I can’t use you until I have begun what I consider to be a professional career. But I totally will use you to archive my career history when it develops. Currently, you archive the people I met while volunteering at the Game Developers Conference.

☆~Tools~☆

Stumble Upon

I use Stumble Upon to find new stuff that I like and either blog about it or share it on my networks and keep up camaraderie.

I like voting up the stuff that I like by clicking its “thumbs up” like button, but I don’t think this really has much effect on the rest of the world because no one seems to be using this thing as a social network like they do with Digg or Reddit.

ManageFlitter

Manage Flitter tells me who’s not reciprocating my Twitter love and lets me bulk unfollow people I’ve realized I don’t need to follow.

Delicious

Delicious is the best way to save bookmarks. It helps me organize my messy brain, and I post a tag cloud of my links on my website in case they might help someone else. Especially check them out if you are interested in Japanese language/culture or digital art and circuit bending.

It’s supposed to be a social network too, but I don’t use it as one. I followed a few artists but hardly check their links unless I really want to discover something new.

MLKSHK

MLKSHK is my new toy that I use to save a stream of pictures I find around the internet. It’s understood that generally people do not own the IP they are copying and broadcasting on this thing. It’s like a Tumblr blog just for pictures.

A lot of people also use it to post photos of themselves, and that puzzles me. You want to throw your identity into the abyss for random squids to do with what they will? OH NOES A GIANT TIDAL WAVE!!! WE ARE NOW STANDING ON A FLYING SAUCER THIS IS WEIRD GUYZ OMGZ WTF BBQ!?!??? ^_O

I only save images that give me a visceral emotional reaction and either make me think deep thoughts or laugh real loud. Preferably the laughter. Right now it contains a lot of images from the Sassy Gay Doctor Who Tumblr, with Hipster MST3K ones coming soon. I hope my stream will be useful to cheer up both me and my friends who are feeling sad.

Evernote

Evernote is my brain. It’s a web storage scrapbook I use to save all my genius ideas, searchable with tags, so I can develop them later when I feel more productive. It’s also an app on both my iPad and my phone, so I can save photos and voice memos to it on the go.

It’s changed the way I read books– Sometimes I’m kinda ADHD and will get stuck on a passage in a book and read it over and over like it’s the Silence from Doctor Who and I’ll forget it the moment I look away. Now, I just save a photo of the paragraph to Evernote and IT BECOMES SEARCHABLE! Evernote can find a single keyword in a PHOTO of TEXT. But that’s just for me. I do not share my copied book passages; they are just saved so I can finish the effing book.

☆~And Google+ ? ~☆

I am still figuring out what new baby Google+ will be for me. It has the low-pressure following system of Twitter, but it’s for posting longer form mailing list content. I can put my friends into groups and customize both what I read and what they see, but circles are not at all like Facebook Groups. It makes me feel safer than Facebook does, and I’ve already had some great group video chats.

Mostly, it’s a super megaphone that might help me find an audience for my blog and future creative endeavors. There’s already a feeling in the digital wind that everyone’s going to migrate to this thing just like Facebook and Twitter.

Suggested by “Pirate Joe” Joe Sledge.

With honorable mentions of his other suggestion, Blackbird the Pirate, and Jonathan Swift suggested by “Spookychick” Janelle Vreeland. My mother laughed at both of those but declared them to be too long to call a pet. And Zigzag perfectly describes the way an adult swift flies, so she thought it most apt.

Technically, Joe’s suggestion was in my Facebook comments which I did not consider in the official rules. I am fine with declaring two winners and sending a button to both him and Janelle. Congratulations to you both, and thank you for making my mother laugh on a day when she’s been feeling kinda sick otherwise.

Thanks also to everyone who submitted name ideas!

Pipsqueak, Reepicheep, and Zigzag.

I shot some video when I was feeding them yesterday; maybe I’ll edit and upload it later this week. Or after they leave us for the open skies and chimneys beyond.

We’ve taken in a lot of songbirds over the years, but never any so comical as these swifts. Huddling together, chattering frantically and begging for food when one of them accidentally bumps the others, constantly stomping and sitting on each other’s heads… They’ve feathered out and are starting to get ideas about flying, but at this point their flying is more like “falling with style” a la Buzz Lightyear. After the last feeding yesterday they climbed up to my mother’s shoulder, flapped their wings in her ears, and started taking dives off the back of the armchair.

So we’ve closed off the upstairs bathroom for them to use as a flight cage. Their climbing sock is attached to the outside of the small cage they were previously in, and some cat furniture was relocated so they have something else to climb up when they flutter to the floor. The plan is that when they get good at flying round the bathroom, we’ll take the screen out of the window so they can decide when they’re ready to go and still have a place to come back to for the next week or so after.

Author’s note:

I would never take in wild birds on my own and most people shouldn’t either. My mother is a wildlife expert with over 20 years of proven success caring for animals. She taught me how to feed the birds that just got separated from their parents too soon, like these guys who would not stay up in our chimney and were healthy but menaced by bugs. Not all baby birds need human help, and I would take an injured or sick bird I found to a vet or rehab center.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have saved the lives of our chimney swifts on two occasions now. Well, not really. I saved one one day and accidentally upset them today.

A few days ago Reepicheep, the big noisy one, squeezed out through a loose bar in the top of the [very old] cage. He fluttered down into the washing machine with two cats in pursuit, but luckily I was there to chase them off and scoop him out unharmed. The cage bars are now re-enforced with duct tape.

Today, it was my turn to feed them while my mother went to a medical appointment. While I was feeding them, Pipsqueak fluttered away from me and fell behind the washer. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get him out again! The other two were reasonably calm, and I fed them first before leaving them sitting on the dryer and going after Pipsqueak. They were cool until I used my full strength to shove the dryer over a few inches, then–

SCREAMING. This was not the feed-me noise; it was total horrified bird panic. Their whole world would float across the room sometimes, but it had never rumbled and shifted before. THEY WERE NOT IN DANGER AT ALL BUT THEY WERE HORRIFIED. Their birdie minds were not prepared to grasp this earthquake. They shivered as I preened them with my fingers and “Aww’d” and “There there’d” them until they grew quiet, or possibly just confused. Eventually, Pipsqueak flapped his way around the washer and came forward enough that I could nudge him into reach with the stuffed sock they usually cling to. I got him back on top of the washer and fed him, but he was too upset to eat more than one bite.

This is why I shouldn’t have children. I wasn’t careful enough to keep these guys from tottering over the edge of a cliff; once one had done so, I wasn’t sure I was strong enough or coordinated enough to get him back without help. Just caring for cats, birds, and fish pushes me to my physical limits. I don’t think I could keep pace with a two year old human. Emotional nurturing is no substitute for a strong grabbing arm, good sense of balance, and fast legs. Again I say, my mother is the expert on raising living things. I’m better off behind a computer.

Despite today’s adventure, the birds are doing great! You can still suggest names for the third one. I doubt my mother would appreciate my notion of Slartibartfeather.

I named the big, noisy one Reepicheep,

From 2011-07-06

my mother named the quiet, weak one Pipsqueak,

From

but there is also a third bird who just doesn’t stand out.

From 2011-07-08

He’s the one on the right, next to Reepicheep. Mom’s been calling him “Middle Child,” but I think that’s kinda mean in a passive aggressive way. Also, it’s a title, not a name.

I thought we should keep up the theme of onomatopoeic names or names of creatures that are stronger than they look, but I am out of ideas. That’s where YOU come in.

Rules

Comment here with a name suggestion, or tweet with the hashtag #SwiftNames. I will pick one Tuesday, July 12 2011, at 6PM US Central.

As a prize, I thought I would draw or design something small for you and send it to you on a button or magnet.

I’ve been considering starting a Zazzle Shop and making 4 Square-like badge flair for real events that wind up on people’s bucket lists. Examples: “I’ve been to Japan!” or, “In Twitter to win at Twitter!” Maybe your badge could say “Bird Namer!” But if you don’t want a Bucket List merit badge, I could draw/design something else for you. And I will pay the printing and shipping costs to send you an actual button or fridge magnet.

For more examples of my skills of an artist, see my Deviant Art account.

Please help me name my temporary pet bird.

Author’s note: I would never take in wild birds on my own and most people shouldn’t either. My mother is a wildlife expert with many years of proven success caring for animals. She taught me how to feed the ones that just got separated from their parents too soon, like these guys who would not stay up in our chimney and were healthy but menaced by bugs. I would take an injured or sick bird I found to a vet or rehab center.

I won the camera in the “If You Think I’m Weird Stop Following Me” contest held by ManageFlitter, a web company providing a useful tool for managing who you follow on Twitter. It shows you which of the tweeple you follow are not following you back, who tweets too much, and who hasn’t been on for months or never uploaded a profile pic. Most importantly, it lets you bulk unfollow to clear the riffraff. I use it every weekend to find out who I’m actually making friends with and which boring/antisocial/stupid celebrities don’t deserve my Twitter fandom.

Now that I’m a Pro user [the other part of my contest prize], I can also white-list people to make sure I don’t unfollow them by accident. It also shows me how many people I followed this week, how many people followed me, and who unfollowed me recently. Hey! I think Twitter dumped me FOR one of my friends accidentally, because we just had a friendly email exchange yesterday but ManageFlitter says she unfollowed. Guess I’ll @ her and make sure it’s not just Twitter being buggy.

My video that won the contest is… embarrassing. But I need to get more comfortable about being embarrassed, so here it is! I will draw attention to it! Laugh at me and tell me to get off the internet!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAnIuiN9au4

I found out about the contest two days before the deadline and shot/edited the video in one day. Next time I want to write an actual script rather than scrapbooking old tweets. I don’t know much about editing in Premiere and didn’t have time to learn more. Also, I wanted to style the “Twitter tweet” dialogue to make it look like part of the Twitter interface, but there just wasn’t time. There *was* time to wear makeup, but maybe not wearing any supports the “I’M cRaZy AnD wEiRd!” premise. It works for Björk in Dancer in the Dark, right?

It’s a nice almost-free commercial for ManageFlitter, a service I truly am excited to use; and it is not hubris for me to say mine was better than the other videos they got as entries.

* [Former property of someone's grampa obtained in an Australian estate sale. Definitely more useful than his didgeridoo art collection.**]
** [With apologies to any Australian readers for the cheap joke. I must now drown my sorrows in Kentucky bourbon and fried chicken until I learn to be funny.]